Jokes on a diet
Q: Why go to the paint store when you're on a diet? A: You can get thinner there.
Q: Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? A: He'll dessert you.
I'm not vegetarian because I love animals. I'm vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
The only difference in my life when I'm on a diet is instead of saying, "I ate nachos," I say, "I accidentally ate nachos."
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A beer in each hand.
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you finish.
The most fattening thing that you can put in an ice cream sundae is the spoon.
My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said, "I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?"
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
Source: Reader’s Digest
